Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Breaking news from The Onion

bush speech.jpg
Originally uploaded by theRacket.
The Onion has broken news that every one else seemed to miss.

The President's actions are in alignment with Lincoln's non-quote; I think the stars are aligned...
President Bush announced Monday that his administration will permanently sever ties with the democratically controlled United States Congress, ending a nearly 220-year-old alliance between the two governmental branches.
Enlarge Image Bush Cuts

"Our administration no longer recognizes the authority of this rogue body," said Bush in a televised Oval Office address. "The hostile new leadership has a political agenda in direct opposition to our own. They have no concern for my national interests, and have left me no choice."
Check out The Onion for continuing updates to this breaking story.


  1. Cabinet members who had been giving testimony before Congressional committees were quickly ushered to the roof of the Senate wing of the Capitol, where they boarded Marine One, the presidential helicopter, and were flown back to the White House.

    Great story Peter. Thanks for the tip

  2. In other news, Vice President Dick Cheney has stepped down to allow President Bush to nominate Thad Allen, currently the Commandant of the Coast Guard, to serve out the Vice President's term. Said President Bush, "Thad saved my bacon once, and I decided it was time to have someone who was actually smart as my number two." Admiral Allen expressed dismay that he'd be leaving the Coast Guard, his home for his entire adult life, particularly with so much unfinished business. During a press conference held at the spacious Coast Guard Headquarter's briefing room, Admiral Allen remarked that his first item of business as the Vice President would be to help reorganize the entire Executive Branch. "During my more than thirty years as a commissioned officer in the Coast Guard, I've learned that reorganizing an agency will keep people busy for about a decade. I figure the way ahead for the President is reorganize the entire Executive Branch, ensuring a focus away from such divisive issues as Iraq and health care and instead on charts, graphs, and line diagrams."

    It is expected the Congress will overwhelmingly approve the nomination.